i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I love having hate sex.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
