highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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