I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
