its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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