this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
