Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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