Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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