May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
