You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize