you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
