Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
