I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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