"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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