Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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