why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
