I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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