Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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