What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
