your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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