I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
