what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
