I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
