Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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