remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
