Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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