we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
