I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
