you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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