Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
