I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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