9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
