I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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