lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
