she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
3pm strippers are depressing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
