Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
did you just send me my own nude
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
