fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
