one word: firstdatebathroomanal
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
