I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
