He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
