So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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