We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
accomplished twins. life is a go
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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