In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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