Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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