I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
