Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
