mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
