yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've blown a few things in my day
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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