the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
