her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
