Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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