Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Your cock deserves a montage
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
