You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
