All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
