he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
