I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
