I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
