It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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