Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
