and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
