So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize