whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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