Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize