We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
