What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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