And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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