There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fuck me I smell like cheese
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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