Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
