Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well you can't waste a boner
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
this is an emotional support booty call
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize