The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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