You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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